Female sexuality has, throughout history, been a topic of concern for many. Paradoxically, among those who studied it (mostly from the standpoint of medicine or psychology), wrote about it and created social policies around it, there were rarely female representatives until the 20th century. Therefore, we waited for the discovery of the clitoris until the middle of the last century when Kinsey and Masters & Johnson recognized for the first time in the history of science the importance of this part of the female erectile tissue in the experience of female orgasm. Its true shape and function have only recently been discovered and we now know that the clitoris (the only human organ that exists solely for pleasure) is superficially much larger and more neurologically interconnected than previously thought. Many authors wonder whether these belated discoveries are related to the problematic gender policies in the field of medical research.
Within psychology, as usual, the story begins with Freud. With regard to female sexuality, Freud did not provide us with many meaningful hypotheses. It is generally accepted that his theories of female sexuality were heavily influenced by the cultural and philosophical misogyny of the time. Some critics also mention the influence of “Freud’s unresolved conflict with his mother”. His concept of “female envy of the penis” is among the most criticized terms in psychoanalytic theory. Freud assumed that when girls first realize that they do not have a penis and the “power” that accompanies this organ, they develop envy of the penis and spend the rest of their lives competing for men’s attention to make up for this congenital deficit. Revising his theoretical positions many times during his life, Freud pointed out that “his view on this topic is certainly not complete and does not always sound friendly”, encouraging us to learn about it from the poets, from our own life experience, or to wait for science to provide some more coherent data.
Waiting has indeed borne some fruit and psychoanalysis today no longer perceives female sexuality as inferior and based on conflict with men. Research in this area today is focused on what it means to “be a woman” instead of “not be a man.”
Although sexual freedoms in the last century have brought greater freedom in the practice of sex for women, the very process of sexual arousal of women, what precedes it and the stages it goes through have, for a long time, remained unknown to science. Today, in the research practice of female sexuality, the voice of women is more present and this topic is approached interdisciplinary.
Empowering women to explore their sexual fantasies and communicate their preferences remains, however, a significant topic of the 21st century. Author Peggy Ornstein and psychologist Sarah McCleland from the University of Michigan believe that today’s young women are socially conditioned to believe that their sexuality does not really belong to them, emphasizing that this is a particularly important topic for heterosexual women. In her research work, McClelland finds that young women tend to define their sexual pleasure exclusively through the degree of their partner’s satisfaction, and the criterion of satisfaction is often stated as “it was painless”. Appealing to the importance of the concept of “intimate justice”, the author invites us to ask ourselves: “How do we determine who has the right to enjoy intimate exchange and whose enjoyment is more important? How does each partner define a “satisfactory” experience? ” Are we talking about it?”
In this two-part text, we will highlight some important topics and suggest practices related to better care for women’s sexuality.
Historically, many cultures have tried and still try to impose control and restrictions on the topic of female sexuality. While growing up, each of us has received certain messages about our, other people’s and sexuality in general. Often these messages are not explicitly stated, but are implied in the way members of our social environment are behaving.
Thus, with the frequent lack of adequate education and support, numerous problematic messages that women receive about their sexuality prevail. The effects of those narratives that surround us are especially relevant during female adolescence and could significantly affect attitudes, feelings and overall relationship to sex.
As part of many years of research that resulted in the book “Girls and Sex”, Peggy Ornstein talked to young women between the ages of 15 and 20 about their attitudes and experiences in the field of physical intimacy. In a TED talk in which she presents part of her findings, Ornstein warns that young women often get the message that their sexuality is primarily related to someone other than themselves. She further states that the media, pop culture and pornographic material sexualize young women and thus put social pressure on girls to look and behave “sexy”. “Being sexy” becomes an important expectation that girls have of themselves, as well as what boys project on them. The author further points out that sexual activity for young women is a double-edged sword because the environment from the early days tries to position them on the dimension of “promiscuious vs. prudish” where none of the alternatives are desirable.
In the context of girls’ sex education, therefore, questions such as: “And what does it mean to me to feel sexy? To what extent does this coincide with the media images of it, and how much does it not?, How can I freely explore my own sexuality and determine myself in some more desirable alternatives? What would be the alternatives?” Ornstein points out that she was inspired by alternative ways in which some gay girls construct the “loss of innocence” as it deviates from the cultural standard: “Imagine the whole world considered a woman’s first orgasm as a proof of her loss of virginity.”
In another interesting TED talk on re-establishing the power of women over their own sexuality, Pam Costa invites women in the audience to reminisce about the messages they received from the environment about sex and them as sexual beings. Some of the questions that can help you independently or explore this topic in relationships where you feel safe are:
This list of questions can encourage you to tell stories about heritage that has shaped the way you experience yourself as a sexual being. At the same time, the answers to these questions can inspire you to create new stories that may be more suited to your current needs.
References:
Meston, M.C. & Stanton, M.A. (2018). Comprehensive Assessment of Women’s Sexual Arousal Requires Both Objective and Subjective Measurement. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 15 (4).
McClelland, I.S. (2010). Intimate Justice: A Critical Analysis of Sexual Satisfaction. Social and Personality Psychology Compass.
Published on psychology blog “Psihobrlog”, June 23rd, 2018.